For many intended parents using a gestational carrier, the waiting period can be one of the most emotionally complex parts of the journey. After months or years of medical steps, paperwork, and planning, waiting for a match can feel surprisingly heavy. There is often a sense of being on pause, of life continuing around you while your own plans feel suspended. If this period feels harder than you expected, you are not alone. Prolonged uncertainty affects people differently than short term stress, and it deserves to be named with care rather than minimized.

Waiting often places the nervous system in a state of anticipation. Even without constant updates or decisions to make, the mind remains alert. Many people notice increased vigilance, emotional swings tied to small pieces of information, or difficulty imagining the future clearly. These reactions are not a sign of weakness or impatience. They are common responses to uncertainty and a lack of predictability, especially after a long fertility journey where so much effort has already been invested.

This in between time can also amplify certain patterns that helped you get through earlier stages of the process. A strong need for control, people pleasing, or minimizing your own needs often emerge as protective responses under stress. While these strategies can be useful in the short term, they can become exhausting over time. The waiting period brings a unique psychological context. There are often fewer daily demands than there will be during pregnancy or early parenthood, which can create more space for reflection and adjustment.

For some intended parents, this window becomes an opportunity to gently strengthen emotional flexibility, boundary awareness, and self connection. This work does not have to happen in therapy, although therapy can be one supportive option. It can also happen through intentional conversations with a partner, participation in support groups, or personal reflection. The goal is not self improvement or emotional armor. It is supporting future resilience in a way that feels humane and sustainable.

At Sweet Springs, we often remind intended parents that this waiting period is not empty time. It frequently shapes how uncertainty is handled later on. There is no right way to use this time, and no expectation to do it perfectly. Approaching yourself with compassion during the wait can be one of the most meaningful foundations you offer to your future family.

Dr. Diederich and Sweet Springs Consultation and Assessment, can help you navigate through the steps of third-party production, considerations around donating your embryos, egg donor evaluations, sperm donor evaluations, evaluations of gestational carriers. She’s a proud member of ASRM and the Mental Health Professional Group. Whether you are in Pennsylvania, New York, Hawaii or in one of the other many PsyPact states that Dr. Diederich can practice in virtually, she can help you along your journey.

AI writing assistance was used in developing portions of this blog. All content has been reviewed and finalized by Dr. Diederich.